Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
