i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
