We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
