Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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