Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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