his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
