Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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