Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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