My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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