we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's shark week go big or go home
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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