It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He shit in the fireplace
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize