I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
