Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
