So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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