today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
