Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm getting married
To pizza
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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