Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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