Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my liver is dry heaving
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
