The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
third nipple confirmed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
