I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
