I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
