Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
