so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
