He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
