at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
