Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
