I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
