I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
