Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
