Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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