Quick, to the slutcave!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
