i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
