it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
