I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
