Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
