Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
