You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
