Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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