I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
