try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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