Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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