the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
