Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
