i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
