there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
