I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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