If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
