there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
