I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
cat food counts as protein by the way
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have aggressive nipples.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
