She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
