What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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