We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
