I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
