I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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