I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Someone shattered a urinal.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize