So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
