if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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