My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
