Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
