why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize