yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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