My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
