You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
